I think that my biggest flaw is my inability to make a decision. Unless I'm contemplating something that I'm extremely passionate about, I generally have to put a huge amount of mental effort into even the simplest of decisions. This first dawned on me as I was talking to my roommate last night, but as I have analyzed it, I realize that there have been many signs of this in the past.

Last night I was talking to my roommate while he was listening to some music by Outkast. A song came on and he said that it was one of his favorite songs and then asked me if I liked it. I said that I was indifferent to it, and he replied that I am indifferent about too many things. I realized immediately that he was right. This indifference comes from my lack of ability to make decision about preferences. Now this song is not a song that I dislike. I remember it being really popular when I was in high school, and listening to it rather frequently. At that time I really liked the song, but since then my feelings towards the song have worn off (no doubt because of hearing it too much), and I can no longer decide if I actually like the song or if I'm fed up with it and don't want to hear it again. To a normal person, one of these feelings would overweight the other and they could easily answer about their preferences, but not me. There are many songs which I feel similar about. A lot of popular songs have catchy rhythms to them, but on the other hand, there lyrical content is nil, and this set of conflicting feelings towards the songs gives me a really hard time in deciding whether I like such songs. That being said, this isn't the case for all music. There are certain styles and musicians which I enjoy passionately, while there are some genres (i.e. country) whose music I detest, but nonetheless, there is a large amount of music which I do feel completely indifferent about.

This indecision is not only related to music, but rather it plagues my everyday life. A solid example is food. This past summer I lived with an aunt whose house was near the company that I interned for. I really enjoyed my stay, but could sense her annoyance at the fact that I could never make up a decision about what to eat for dinner. When we ate out, she would always ask where I wanted to go, and I would always reply with, "I don't know." When we ate in she would ask me what I wanted to eat, often even accompanied by a set of choices, and I would always reply with the same echoing, "I don't know." All of the food propositions seemed equally delicious so I found myself unable to choose one. Even as I sit here typing I am hungry but unable to make a decision about what to eat, so I will continue to sit here until my hunger is at such a level that I am compelled to make a decision about what to eat.

All this being said, some decisions are easy for me to make. For example, being that I'm majoring in computer science, I routinely have to make design choices about code that I'm working on. The big difference for this is that I don't have to make a commitment to a design choice, because I know that there is always a backspace key, if I make a bad decision I can always go back and change it or modify it. I guess, then, this indecision is really an inability to commit to something, even on the most micro scale, for fear of the consequences of the decision.